First of many conversations I will be having with some local powerful women of God. This is a necessary topic of discussion and something we are all working on. Just a little background on Crystal, she is a powerhouse worship leader/ preacher/ leader from His Church in Pinetown. Some of you may know her from the Pure Campaign that she has been running for over 14 years now, out of His Church Pinetown. This campaign has changed so many lives and is continuing to make a radical changes in the youth of South Africa. In this post, Crystal gives us a fresh and powerful perspective on purity. Have your heart open to receive and keep reading to have your mind blown.
What are some core values women should have for being in a season of singleness?
- “Have fun!! Do everything you can do to enjoy your life! There are pros and cons in single and married seasons!! Sleep ins, series binge, travel, just think of YOU.
- The goal is freedom, so we can know God for who He really is!! There’s so much to discover about Him!! He’s this mysterious box of goodies!
- Get some self-esteem… Seriously start loving you or no one can fix that in your own heart and mind.
- Be grateful, ALWAYS! Be the girl who everyone wants to be around cos she isn’t a whiner, but she loves to just live in the moment and have coffee and trial with a smile!
- Build friendships. Honestly friendships, real and raw are the best thing ever and can take you everywhere in life!! Invest and BE a friend!
- Keep serving God – find ways to do stuff for God and don’t give up or get distracted, even when you feel alone, PUSH into community! Make others feel pretty and watch what God does in you!
- Dance and go to the beach and eat nice food and look good! Don’t get too serious. STOP overthinking!”
How can you steward revival in relationships?
- “Jesus has gotta be first. If He isn’t – others have to maintain the fires and flames of expectations.. when Jesus is center – fire and fun follow.”
Do you have any practical advice for women who are struggling with their purity?
- “Find a trustworthy friend and be vulnerable!! Don’t do this alone!
- Fight shame! It’s not your friend and just traps you into a cycle of hopelessness. Get scriptures on shame and say them outloud.
- When you’re tempted, GET UP and distract. Don’t be weird and try just pray it away – DISTRACT… and say okay Holy Spirit, some help here please.
- If you are really struggling, GO BACK to the root – is there sexual abuse? Is there something you can’t talk about? Is there a habit you’re ashamed of or a moment you need some help with? ASK someone for help. Everyone needs community and we’re in this together.
- The devil is a dirty liar. You can be free babes!“
What has your journey looked like with purity?
- “It’s a lifelong journey, but my motivation is if my heart is pure, I will SEE God in new ways (Matt 5:8) and that’s all I want!! The rest has to follow! But I take a very real approach to life, purity, sex and temptation. We gotta be able to speak and be real cos Jesus lives in us. I have amazing people in my life I trust. I have had bad moments where I needed God, just like any other.
- I remember at 13, reading pornagraphic material and feeling the Holy Spirit speak to me gently.. I wanted to carry on reading it cos I felt drawn, but at the same time dirty.. I grabbed my bible and read Psalm 51 and cried out to God and Jesus please help me. In that moment, He came and met me where I was at.. don’t run away from Him, run to Him!”
How can we adapt God’s word for purity & wholeness in our day and age?
“The word is flawless, it just is perfect and enough. It’s like medicine for every situation. It just needs faith and application.”
What does it look like to lead a life of wholeness with Jesus?
“Woah, big question! But simply, it means to go to Him with EVERY issue! Wholeness is taking all the hidden parts and actually learning how to receive healing and then partnering with Jesus in that healing!”
What is God saying about people who have been living in sexual sin?
“God loves everyone. A lot. He doesn’t judge one sin worse than the other. The thing is with sexual sin, it makes us feel awful cos we do it against our own bodies, like Corinthians says. God’s plan is original intent: restoration, freedom and purity! He created you so He knows you have a sex drive, but He also knows where it needs to be kept best. God doesn’t like to see you hurting or far from Him.. so He always saves the day.. it’s Who He is. I think God would kick shame in the bootie and say HEY, leave them alone. There is a better life for them!”
What would you say to those who are comfortable with living in sexual sin?
“I’m not sure what I would say would help much! I would just trust that the presence of God , would just draw them to Him, cos sex isn’t ever gonna be enough. That they would long to get out of the cycle and get desperate enough to find healing and a brand new way of living! Sex can actually be so much better in it’s true and right context!! God made it!“
How does God’s redemptive plan for us include our purity & wholeness?
“Well God made Adam and Eve in the garden naked and told them to multiply. So God was comfortable with their sexuality and their companionship within marriage and His plan.. it was just dumb ol sin that messed it up! God loves vulnerability and purity is about being “see through”, so God can see into you. It’s not so much a focus on what you do right, but what He has done to make us pure. His blood brought us back to purity and vulnerability – no shame! God wants to for that in each of us, NO matter how bad we feel! Lemme repeat – Shame is your enemy! You aren’t a freak!! God wants to heal and restore you!! And give you hope babes!“
Any other thoughts or advice on purity?
- “Instead of tryna fix yourself… run to Jesus.
- Ask Him to show you where you need comfort, cos these issues come out of an unmet desire of affection, a rejection, an abuse, a moment that turned into a habit.
- More guilt won’t set you free!
- Find someone who can help, not POLICE you, but encourage healing and help you through the process of facing your own heart, mind and body.
- Don’t hide – fight shame and realise that living in shame doesn’t help you make you pay for your sins. Jesus has done that. Finish, Klaar. Use the Word as medicine, day and night. Go through the withdrawals of the soul and body and God will meet you there.
- There is hope!! God’s gonna bless you and wants you to be healed and whole and has an incredible future for you! In every season, though there is a war, so use joy and praise to strengthen yourself and be grateful for where you are right NOW!!!
- Also, you won’t die without having sex. God’s got you girl!! He won’t let you down.”
Wow! This so incredibly helpful. Thank you so much Crystal, for sharing your wisdom and your time.
Girls! Share this with your single friends, it is such an important message.
Once again, you are loved. You are valued, you are chosen, you are set apart, you are beautiful and you are worthy!!